Random Act

I’m not sure what made me do it.

Last Sunday, on my way home from church I did something I have never done before.

I gave water to a homeless man on the side of the road.

I have to be honest and say that my first reaction was to lock my door, even though I was four cars away from him, even with my husband in the car in front of me, I still felt uncomfortable.

I admit I wanted to ignore him. But something in my heart welled up. I glanced up as I saw him retrieve a dollar bill from a car in the next lane. I felt ashamed.

He looked old. And sad. And so desperate.

I wondered about who he was, if he had a wife and grandkids, and what had happened that cause him to stand outside on the exit ramp in nearly 80 degree weather. Who was I to judge him?

I decided I had to do something, but I knew I had no money. I had nothing to give him, and it made me feel sick; in my rear view mirror I saw the sunlight reflecting off of a pack of water left over from a road trip I took with John from the day before. There wasn’t a second more to think- I mashed my foot harder on the brake pedal and did a matrix backbend to grab the water. I rolled down my window and stuck the bottle of water out , “Hey! You want some water?”

Matrix backbend- quiet a feat if you're still strapped in your seat belt.

He ran over. I wondered how he was going to react, if he would be mad that I didn’t have any money, I prepared myself for the worst. I knew that Johnny was in front of me so if anything happened he’d be right there. When the man finally reached my window all I could muster out was “It’s not opened”, I felt like an absolute idiot.

“Thank you, thank you so much”, with tears welling he reached for the water. I looked up to see the cars in front of me starting to pull away. I didn’t look back , and I don’t remember if he said anything else as I drove away. I was tearing up too as I turned on our street. “It’s not a big deal,” I kept thinking, “I just gave what I could,”. But I realized it was to that man. And that even as an insecure unemployed college graduate I felt so unequipped to do anything; I had been so wrapped up in my issues that I couldn’t think of anyone else but myself, but in that moment, I had exactly what I needed to give away. Maybe, the truth is I always have.

When I got out of the car at our house, my husband was beaming. I admit I almost wanted him not to notice what I had done, but when he gave me a big hug, I knew that he had.

“Sweetheart, you make my heart happy!”

I don’t know what made me do it. I didn’t do it for brownie points or to get noticed, or even for a favor, I knew there was nothing this man had to give back to me. I did it because it was the right thing to do; I believe more that you can get fulfillment from a small random act of kindness then you can from  anything monetary.

It is so easy to go about your day oblivious of what’s around you, believe I know, but it is so hard to look for opportunities to give. So dear Reader, whoever you are, let me urge you with this: Aesop, in one of his tales wrote that “No act of kindness, however small, is wasted”. So do it. Go out of your way to show some kindness to someone. It’s radical.