I’m not sure what made me do it.
Last Sunday, on my way home from church I did something I have never done before.
I gave water to a homeless man on the side of the road.
I have to be honest and say that my first reaction was to lock my door, even though I was four cars away from him, even with my husband in the car in front of me, I still felt uncomfortable.
I admit I wanted to ignore him. But something in my heart welled up. I glanced up as I saw him retrieve a dollar bill from a car in the next lane. I felt ashamed.
He looked old. And sad. And so desperate.
I wondered about who he was, if he had a wife and grandkids, and what had happened that cause him to stand outside on the exit ramp in nearly 80 degree weather. Who was I to judge him?
I decided I had to do something, but I knew I had no money. I had nothing to give him, and it made me feel sick; in my rear view mirror I saw the sunlight reflecting off of a pack of water left over from a road trip I took with John from the day before. There wasn’t a second more to think- I mashed my foot harder on the brake pedal and did a matrix backbend to grab the water. I rolled down my window and stuck the bottle of water out , “Hey! You want some water?”
He ran over. I wondered how he was going to react, if he would be mad that I didn’t have any money, I prepared myself for the worst. I knew that Johnny was in front of me so if anything happened he’d be right there. When the man finally reached my window all I could muster out was “It’s not opened”, I felt like an absolute idiot.
“Thank you, thank you so much”, with tears welling he reached for the water. I looked up to see the cars in front of me starting to pull away. I didn’t look back , and I don’t remember if he said anything else as I drove away. I was tearing up too as I turned on our street. “It’s not a big deal,” I kept thinking, “I just gave what I could,”. But I realized it was to that man. And that even as an insecure unemployed college graduate I felt so unequipped to do anything; I had been so wrapped up in my issues that I couldn’t think of anyone else but myself, but in that moment, I had exactly what I needed to give away. Maybe, the truth is I always have.
When I got out of the car at our house, my husband was beaming. I admit I almost wanted him not to notice what I had done, but when he gave me a big hug, I knew that he had.
“Sweetheart, you make my heart happy!”
I don’t know what made me do it. I didn’t do it for brownie points or to get noticed, or even for a favor, I knew there was nothing this man had to give back to me. I did it because it was the right thing to do; I believe more that you can get fulfillment from a small random act of kindness then you can from anything monetary.
It is so easy to go about your day oblivious of what’s around you, believe I know, but it is so hard to look for opportunities to give. So dear Reader, whoever you are, let me urge you with this: Aesop, in one of his tales wrote that “No act of kindness, however small, is wasted”. So do it. Go out of your way to show some kindness to someone. It’s radical.
Please see my comment left inadvertently on the “Tasty Tuesdays” section!
Honey, I read your post today with tears rolling down my cheeks! I am so proud of your kind, loving heart! Kisses! Mom