This week has been rough….
Since last Friday, I’ve been slammed with the worst sinus/upper respiratory/ear infection.I am as of now- not completely over my sickness, but I can report that I feel less like the plague. My husband has been a life-saver; after a year and a half of marriage I think we’ve finally got the “in sickness, and in health” thing down especially after this week.
Early Easter morning I woke up from a dead sleep with a piercing ear ache. I slept through the alarm, woke up 20 minutes late but was still determined to go to church. I’m not exactly sure how I managed to get there, with the way I was feeling, but I made it all in one piece…. at least externally.
After service, I still felt terrible that I opted to stay home and sleep instead of eating lunch…. not just lunch- Easter lunch. No ham, no crescent rolls, no fruit cobbler….. It made my heart sad.
Monday rolled around and I still felt like death warmed over. I spent the morning self-medicating with what I later found out was 3 and 4-year-old sinus relief medicine that we had stashed in our cabinets; it provided no relief. Thankfully, my husband, who had the day off, didn’t mind taking his sick wife to the clinic.
Kleenex, Powerade, and Mucinex have been my best friends this week
Before we left, I got a call from my Mom; I thought she was calling to check up on me since I left a very terrible sounding message on her voicemail the day before, but I later found out that she was calling for other reasons.
My cousin, A., had been in a head-on collision; the other driver, a young mother, didn’t make it.
Bad news: It’s just not something you can ever prepare yourself for. Learning what had happened made me feel numb and powerless; knowing that I was here in Knoxville while my family was in Michigan. I felt defeated and weak in body and soul. I knew that there was nothing that I could do except pray, and even in my state, it felt like not enough.
The night of the accident, I got a call from a family member that told me more about A.’s condition; that he had been severely injured from the neck down, including a lacerated liver, but had no head injuries to speak of even though he wasn’t wearing his seatbelt.
I don’t know why bad things happen. I won’t lay claim to know how God works, but I know he does. It’s a tested confidence that I am even more aware of. That even when bad times come, He is still God, still good, and still in control. I believe what it says, “that he does all things for good”, that even while this terrible freak accident that is still fresh, I believe completely that there will be good that comes out of it. I don’t know what it is, but I can only hope that in this season that even in our weakness we’ll be made strong.
He has never, in any point in my life, given me an opportunity to doubt. His love is alive and real, and I know that just as much as my heart hurts for my family, His aches too. Not just for mine, but for the woman who lost her life as well; God’s love doesn’t discriminate.
MISC. Roots 